My Sweet Lullaby
by Secret Song
Summary: Poor Len! He's got serious writer's block, and as if that weren't good enough, everyone's decided to help him. And Rin and Miku have something up their sleeves... matchmaking? Len/Kaito
1. All It Takes Is A Little Push

The sound of crumpling paper echoed in the room as Len crushed another failure and collapsed onto the desk. At least, it seemed like it. After two hours of attempted songwriting, and nothing but, the sound of failure had gotten louder, not quieter.

It hadn't gotten more bearable, either.

"Ugh. I can't think of _anything_! My head's blank! Dead! Empty! Broke!" With each word, Len banged his head on the desk, and shut his laptop with a snap. He'd had writer's block before, but this was so much worse. He couldn't even think of anything to say about bananas, and Len _always_ had something to say about bananas.

He had to write something, though. Or else… well, he didn't know what, but he didn't feel like finding out, either.

_Maybe Kaito-nii can help me. _

Standing, Len stretched his arms above his head, and tossed his pencil onto his desk. Kaito-nii would help, or Miku would, or, as much as he hated to admit it, Rin. They were always good at helping.

---

"I'm _bored_." Throwing up her arms, Rin, flopped back into the couch next to Miku. The green haired girl nodded, and put her video game to the side. The two frowned together.

"We need something to do." Miku slapped her knees with her palms dramatically, and turned her head towards Rin.

Rin nodded energetically.

"Something _big._"

"Something _awesome_."

Miku prodded Rin's forehead, and the two stood.

"But… what?"

---

"LEN! OUT OF THE KITCHEN!" Meiko slammed her spoon onto the counter and then pointed it at him threateningly.

Len backed up. When Meiko was in possession of anything potentially dangerous, it was best to stand as far away as possible; which meant nearly always, but especially when she was in the kitchen.

"I was j-just looking for Kaito-nii."

Meiko lowered the spoon and sighed.

"What do you want _that_ bozo for?"

Len studied his toes intently, and mumbled, "Icantfigerotsumthntowrite."

Slapping her palm with the spoon, Meiko raised an eyebrow and looked down at Len.

"What did you say?"

Len continued looking at his toes, but he knew he would be in imminent danger if he didn't answer Meiko. She wasn't angry yet, but she was notorious for her lack of patience. "I can't figure out anything to write."

Meiko laughed, and went back to stirring… whatever was in the pot. Len didn't really want to know.

"MIKU! RIN! LEN NEEDS YOUR HELP! And Len. Out of the kitchen. Now."

---

Within seconds, Miku, Len, and Rin were standing in a circle, and Kaito had just wandered in.

"Since last week? You're sure, Len?"

Len nodded at Miku's question. Rin hugged him, and dramatically pretended to cry.

"Oh Len, I'm so sorry!" Len pried her off, and then turned to see a very, very worried Kaito, who immediately started crying, and then hugged Len.

"Don't die Len-kun! No matter what you have, you'll get better, so don't die!"

Everyone started at him for a minute, in which Len pulled away and Kaito looked like he was about to cry again.

"Umm… Kaito-nii, what are you talking about?" Len looked up at the older Vocaloid worriedly. He was pretty dense in general, but this was a bit over-the-top.

Kaito frowned.

"Len-kun isn't sick?"

"Nooo…."

"But Rin was crying."

"I have writer's block, and she was trying to be funny."

"…Oh."

Rin slammed her fist onto the table next to her.

"Back to business! Len is stuck, and we have to help him! Who's with me?" She pumped the air with her first. Miku joined her, and Kaito followed.

There were a few seconds of silence, and then Rin slammed the table again. Len jumped, stumbled, tripped on the edge of the carpet, and fell. Without thinking, Kaito caught him, and Len slumped against his chest before getting back to his feet.

"Thanks, Kaito-nii."

Kaito smiled. "No problem, Len-kun."

Rin and Miku looked at the two for a second, and then turned to face each other with a glint in their eyes.

"Perfect."

They both grinned a very evil grin, and rushed off to who knows where. Len and Kaito looked at each other, shrugged, and headed to the living room to watch TV.  
---

"It's perfect! They're perfect! Everything's _perfect_!" Miku rubbed her palms together, and looked at Rin excitedly. The green-haired girl was practically bouncing out of her seat. Her blonde partner in crime was just as excited, but she was pacing, not bouncing.

"You're right. It's perfect. But how… aha!" Rin threw back her head and laughed a laugh that sent chills down Miku's spine.

Suddenly, Miku was very scared.


	2. Hilarity Among Destruction

-1**Disclaimer: **We don't own Vocaloid… what we do own is our imaginations! O.o

Presenting Chapter Two- Hilarity Among Destruction

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No, it's _my _turn to pick the show!" A very annoyed Kaito tugged the remote from Len's hand. The older Vocaloid fumbled with the buttons for a minute before a familiar theme rang out across the living room. Kaito, overjoyed, sang along, using the remote as a microphone.

"Gomen ne sunao ja nakute, yume no-" Len tackled the remote out of Kaito's hand and smoothly switching the channel to Gundam SEED. The younger boy chuckled to himself and glued his eyes once again to the battling mecha.

Kaito sighed. He decided to get some ice cream from the kitchen, but was met at the door by an angry drunkard.

"GET OUTTTTTT!!"

---

In the garage, the two girls sat whispering. Miku's green pigtails bounced up and down, corresponding with the girl's excitement level. Rin, on the other hand, sat perfectly still, but there was a look on her face that gave away the plot beginning to take form in both minds.

"Yes, but what if.."

"Oh, then we'll…"

"No, that won't work at all… What about…"

"Got it!"

Rin stood up and traced an outline of their plan on the dusty surface of a certain yellow object.

"First, let's get them out here." The shorter girl declared. Miku nodded obediently and pranced to the front entrance of the house. She poked her head inside.

"Len? Kaito?"

Len looked up at the green-haired girl. "Yeah?"

Miku glanced around for Kaito, whom she found groaning on the couch with an icepack on his shoulder. She turned back to Len, and spoke in the sweetest voice she could manage. "Um, would you two mind coming here for a minute?"

Len raised an eyebrow, obviously not buying it, but before he could reply, Kaito was skipping to the door. "Alright, Miku-chan!" He turned to Len, a huge smile on his face. "Let's go, Len-kun!"

Len blinked, and cautiously followed.

---

Soon, the three of them were standing in a circle in front of their mansion. Well, it was not a _mansion_, per se; it was just a lot larger than the average house. And fancier.

"So," Miku began, "In order to get Len out of his writing slump, me and Rin thought of an idea."

Len gulped.

Oblivious to Len's worries, the green-haired girl smiled. "So, ready to try it?"

The younger boy frowned. "Err…"

An earsplitting _CRASHH_ suddenly echoed across the lawn, and Len turned to see his sister riding towards him on a...

"RODO-ROLLA!!!!!" The twins shouted together. Len grinned, and ran towards it.

Rin blinked at her brother. "Idiot… run!"

The boy stared, dumbfounded, up at his sister, who showed no signs of slowing down their big, fat, yellow road roller. In fact, she seemed to be speeding up…

It was then that Kagamine Len understood what his sister meant. Turning, he ran in the other direction, screaming multiple cuss words at Rin, who seemed to be fully enjoying this adventure on the yellow construction site vehicle.

Kaito watched with widened eyes. "Rin… isn't this a bit extreme?" He called out. In answer, Rin swerved the machine around and began to chase him.

Len's eyes widened. "Rin!" His sister ignored him. Len sighed loudly, and ran after the road roller. Since the change in direction slowed the machine, the boy easily caught up to it. He grabbed the edge of the driver's seat and attempted to hoist himself inside. However, Len's foot got caught on the edge of the construction vehicle, and the boy grabbed onto his twin sister's arm for balance. This only flung Rin off the vehicle as well, and both twins landed in some shrubbery few feet from the machine.

Len breathed a sigh of relief, but Rin let out a shrill scream.

"LEN!" She screeched. "I weighted the gas pedal!"

Sure enough, the road roller was still cruising after an increasingly frantic Kaito.

Len glared at his sister. "Idiot!"

"Just stop that machine!!"

Len and Rin chased after the machine, but it was rolling far faster than either twin could run. It began to close in on Kaito, who was now less than a foot away from the large metallic wheel.

With a final burst of energy, Kaito finally turned to the right and collapsed on the ground, out of the path of the road-roller. The machine rolled a few more yards, before crashing into their neighbor's house. Akita Neru's screeches of rage were already audible.

---

"_What?"_

Rin's expression was one of pure horror.

"I _said_," Neru hissed. "That I expect to be fully paid back for the damage on our house by that _goddamn _road-roller."

Meiko shot a death glare towards Rin. "Which means, Rin, that you lose your allowance for a month."

It was an hour after the incident, and all the members of the two houses were gathered in the yard of the non-destroyed house

"Miku helped too, though!" Rin pointed at the green haired girl. "If I have to give up oranges and onions for a month, Miku should give up leeks! And Len's the one in the writing slump, so he should give up bananas! And-"

"I'm not giving up bananas!" Len shouted. "It was your idea!"

"But that's not fair!" Rin tried to lunge at her brother, but Kaito restrained her

"Um… let's not fight! Yeah!" Kaito smiled at the rabid girl he was restraining.

Rin glared up at Kaito. Suddenly, her angry expression morphed into an evil smile, glinting in her eyes. "Kaito…" She purred, her voice full of menace. "You'll buy me oranges, riiight?" The blue hair boy gulped.

--

The next morning, Hatsune Miku awoke to a silent house. She was surprised, given the ruckus of last night. All of the members of Neru's household were sleeping here until their house was repaired, which meant two extremely dysfunctional weeks lay ahead of the families. The diva rose from her bed, carefully stepping over the sleeping forms of Neru and Teto- not that she was feeling extremely grateful this morning. Neru had kept her up until midnight texting, and her entire room now reeked of French Bread.

The green haired girl shuffled downstairs to find Meiko and Haku passed out on the couch, surrounded by empty bottles of sake. Sighing, Miku went into the kitchen.

Rin looked up at her from the stovetop, grinning. "Morning, Miku-nee! Want some eggs?" She pushed a plate of eggs, smelling strongly of oranges and onions, in Miku's direction.

"Err, no thanks." Miku smiled politely, trying hard not to take out her bad mood on Rin. "I'm just going to eat a leek or two."

Rin wrinkled her nose. "Suit yourself." Rin sat at the kitchen table and began to ravenously eat her eggs. Miku grabbed a leek from the refridgerator and began nibbling on the end. After a minute, Rin's face emerged, grinning wildly, from a cleaned plate. "Anyways, what was the next step in our plan?"

Miku's mood instantly brightened. "Ohh, the plan!" The girl paused, twiddling her fingers. "Isn't the water thing next?"

Rin nodded. "Yes! Now, let's go dig out a water pail."

---

"Kaito-nii?"

The blue-haired boy felt somebody shake his shoulder. He groaned, and opened his eyes to see the person who awoke Kaito from his peaceful slumber.

Kagamine Len.

"Morning, Len-kun," He murmured, sleepiness slurring his words together. The blue-haired boy sat up, yawning. The younger boy was still staring intently at him. "What?"

"Can I have back the toothpaste you borrowed?"

"Oh, sure." Kaito finally rose, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "It's on my desk somewhere."

Kaito's desk was an absolute mess, and the older boy could see the irritation in Len's blue eyes. Nevertheless, Len began shifting through the papers. After a minute, the younger Vocaloid grinned, and held up the toothpaste triumphantly. "Got it! Thanks, Kaito-nii." The blonde started towards the door, then turned to face the drowsy blue-haired Vocaloid. "You coming?"

Kaito shrugged, and nodded. "Alright!"

The two hurried downstairs to eat breakfast. Rin sat at the table, a large smile on her face. Kaito smiled back at her "Morning, Rin-chan!" He heard a slight catch in Len's breath, and Kaito saw him eying his sister with distrust.

He got out a yellow popsicle from the refrigerator for breakfast. Len looked at it for a moment. "Is that banana-flavored?"

Kaito grinned. "Uh-huh, and it's mine!"

Rin made a peculiar squeak, and both boys turned to look at her, baffled expressions on their faces. The girl only smiled even wider, her cheeks flushed a light pink. "Oh, nothing."

The blue-haired Vocaloid let out a sigh of relief. "Good!" He chimed. "That was a really weird noise you made." He took another lick from the popsicle, and Rin bolted from the room, her cheeks bright red.

Len raised an eyebrow. "What's with her?"

Kaito frowned. "I hope she feels alright…"

The younger boy shrugged, and fetched a banana from the cabinet. The two Vocaloids ate in silence. After they finished, Rin re-entered, another large smile on her face.

"Lennnn!" She cooed. "Come outside with me for a moment!" She grabbed Len's arm and began dragging him towards the door. Even Kaito could recognize the fear and suspicion on Len's face.

The blue-haired Vocaloid smiled at the boy, trying to reassure him. "Oh, don't worry, Len-kun! It can't possibly be as bad as last night!" Kaito grabbed Len's other arm and helped Rin.

"Oh, it could…" Len muttered.

Upon reaching the door, Rin smiled at her brother. "Now, Len, go outside!"

Len shook his head, flailing his legs as fast as he could.

Kaito frowned, desperate to calm his friend. What could be waiting outside, anyways? The blue-haired boy let go of Len's arm and pranced out the door, not noticing Rin's expression widen in shock. "See, Len-kun? Nothing's hap-"

He was cut off by his own yelp of surprise. An explosion of cold had smashed onto the top of his head, quickly spreading down his body and limbs. Kaito's eyes widened, and he began shivering. His clothes felt heavy, and he looked down at them. They were sopping wet. Confused, Kaito looked up to see a wide-eyed Miku clutching an empty metal pail. The blue-haired boy finally put it all together.

The next few moments were jumbled up together in Kaito's mind- Miku screeching apologies, Len patting his hair dry, Rin's expression never leaving the strange smile of someone who just found out terrible news.

Before he knew it, Kaito was in the laundry room, wrapped in several layers of blankets and towels. Len was next to him, eyes still filled with rage towards his sister.

"Err, sorry." The blond murmured, playing with a loose flap of rubber on his sneakers. "Stupid Rin…"

"I-it's alright…" Kaito stuttered. He was still a bit cold, although a lot warmer than he had initially been.

"Why are Rin and Miku doing all this, anyways?" Len sighed in exasperation.

"Well, didn't you ask for help?" Kaito looked at the blond quizzically.

"Yeah, but…" Len sighed. "I mean, I know they're trying, but it just seems so… so over-the-top. Even for Rin." He looked up at Kaito, and laughed. "It's like they're trying to get us together or something!"

Kaito's expression widened, a light blush settling onto his cheeks, and he looked towards the blond boy with shock. _Were they? _ He suddenly comprehended Len's laughter and blinked. _No… Len was joking. _Kaito began laughing as well, hoping his delay wasn't obvious for a reason he wasn't aware of in his mind. "Of course not, Len! They're only trying to help!"

Len nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

The dryer beeped, and Kaito retrieved his clothes. "Thanks, Len-kun!"

Len smiled and left the room to let Kaito change- a little too formally, the blue-haired Vocaloid noted. He shook those thoughts from his mind

"Nah, of course they wouldn't!"

_Right?_


	3. Not According to Plan

In the Vocaloid household, it was common knowledge (common sense, really) that pissing Meiko off was a bad idea. Hell, she'd nailed Kaito in the shoulder the other day for trying to smell some soup! Haku had bought some fish one time, but after Haku accidentally drank Meiko's secret stash of sake, her beautiful fish were fried and thrown in the garbage. Morale of the story: Don't mess with Meiko. Which gives rise to the question, why would Rin wake her up at 6 o'clock in the morning?

Then again, Rin's actions rarely made sense…

Flapping one hand angrily at the irritating finger prodding her ear, Meiko bolted up in bed and aimed a punch at the offending family member. Of course, Rin was used to such reactions, and dodged it easily before hopping onto the bed and staring at Meiko with a rare, serious look on her face. The usual look on her face being, of course, maniacal, devious, twisted, or any other synonym of the word EVIL that you care to use.

"Meiko-nee, I need your help."

---

That day, Len looked around every corner, and treated his sister with the utmost suspicion. If it weren't for the guilt he felt over what happened to Kaito yesterday, he would've made the idiot test all his food for him. Not that Kaito would mind much if he got knocked out by some weird drug, but Len would feel bad, and who knew what Rin would do to an unconscious Kaito?

He shuddered, and started watching Kaito carefully, in case Rin tried to kidnap him. If Kaito got scared by Rin, he would lock himself up in his room for the rest of the night eating ice cream. The last time he did that, Meiko ended up smashing his door in to force vegetables down his throat. Rin wouldn't scare Kaito, though. Not unless she wanted to watch her precious oranges go up in flames.

"Oh no! My oranges!" He pretended to tremble and squealed in a high-pitched voice, then grabbed a banana off the counter and peeled it, taking a tiny bite off of the tip. It was Fend-For-Yourself Night, apparently. Meiko had declared herself "too damn busy to cook for you brats" and shut the door in Len's face. He didn't mind. Bananas were preferable to Meiko's Mystery Meat any night. Miku was out shopping with Haku and Neru, so he was safe from any disgusting leek-infested dishes for the time being. It was best to stick to his banana, though. Just in case Miku had managed to sneak leeks into something.

Sitting at the small kitchen table, he tapped his pencil to the sheet of paper he'd ripped out of a random notebook and groaned.

"I have to write _something…_"

Clearing his throat, he wrote.

_Spring in summer_

_Red in blue_

_Time for swimming- _

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Len screamed the protest to Meiko, who had picked up him and thrown him neatly over her shoulder. She stuffed a sock in his mouth, and tiptoed up the stairs to her room.

"Len, be quiet, or I'll force feed you nothing but leeks for a month."

Hey, it might not have been the most intimidating threat, but it sure worked.

As Meiko sat him down in a chair and tied him to it, he sent mental curses towards his twin, who was probably enjoying an orange and laughing her sadistic ass off. This wasn't the sort of thing Meiko did, even when she was drunk to the point where a normal person would have died… of course, they had tried to keep her away from that point since last time. Poor Haku had never been the same…

This whole thing was still most certainly Rin's fault. So Len restrained himself, and did not punch Meiko in the face. Which, now that he thought of it, would've been a pretty poor choice of action anyway.

"Listen, Len, you need to write. I don't care how long it takes, but you're not leaving this room until you write a song. If you can't write a song within the hour, I'm going to tickle you into unconsciousness. Got it?"

Len nodded, suddenly very afraid for his life. He _hated_ being tickled. Everyone in his family knew that, which meant that, unless he got something down very, very quickly, his life was going to jump straight down into Hell.

"Alright, alright." He grumbled, though it came out more like " Huh-hmm , hu-hmm."

Putting his pencil to the paper Meiko had placed in front of him, he tapped the page, trying to find some kind of inspiring rhythm. Meiko continued to stare at him threateningly for a few minutes, then shrugged in defeat and took a swig from her can of sake. Stare, drink, repeat.

Eventually, the hour was up, and Meiko grinned at Len, who was flailing his arms around and trying to knock his chair over backwards. What that would accomplish, he wasn't sure, but he could've sworn he'd seen it in a spy movie somewhere.

Still grinning, Meiko left, her fingers twitching slightly. Whether that was from the urge to torture him or a result of her impeding status as drunk, Len didn't know, but either way it was bad for him. So he continued to struggle, rocking side to side and waving his arms, until Meiko returned a few minutes later, carrying a few bottles of sake and no feather.

"Aww, ta' hell wit'it. Wanna drink, Len?" She sat his chair upright, then opened a bottle and thrust it into his face. Her face didn't really offer much room for compromise, so he took the bottle and drank. Surprisingly, it was better than he remembered. The last time he'd had any sake, Miku had tried to "spice it up" with leek juice, and he'd spent the rest of the night puking. He'd avoided the stuff entirely every since. This, however, was pretty good. He shrugged at Meiko, and took another swig. She grinned, opened herself a bottle, and took a long drink. Meiko was always glad to have a drinking buddy.

A couple hours later, Meiko had untied Len from the chair, and they were both quite drunk. They'd managed to get to the living room, where they somehow set up the karaoke machine and stood on the couch, singing. Well, trying to, at least.

"WHAT IS RABU!! Babehh dun hurt mee, dun hurt mee, no moar!"

The two drunks sang together, getting louder and louder as the English song went on. They put their arms around each others' shoulders and swayed, and then attempted to do a dance that, if you squinted and poked both your eyes with a skewer, slightly resembled the waltz.

Whenever they got bored, Meiko would restart the karaoke, so it was the same song over, and over, and over again. Within a few minutes, they were both shouting, and Len was as drunk as Meiko (which was, in itself, an admirable feat).

Suddenly, crushingly, and heartbreakingly, the fun was ended.

"What the F**K are you two DOING?" Standing by the television, the unplugged karaoke cords in one hand and a cell phone in the other, Akita Neru had smoke coming from her ears. She glared at the two, and tackled Len, stealing his sake bottle and microphone so he was forced to sit on the couch looking dejected. She would have hit him, too, but Kaito came stumbling downstairs, his blue eyes wide eyed in his face.

"Don't hurt them, Neru-san! I'll help Len-kun!" His lower lip trembled, and even the mighty Akita Neru, Bitch of the West, fell to the power of Kaito's adorableness.

"Okay, I won't hurt him. You get him to his room, and I'll deal with Meiko." Cracking her knuckles, Neru put aside her cell phone, and launched herself at Meiko.

Kaito grabbed Len's arm, dragging him out of the room before anything _really_ nasty could happen. The younger boy was mumbling the lyrics of the song, clinging to Kaito's arm and attempting to drink from the sake bottle he no longer had.

"Okay Len-kun, let's get you in bed…" Worried at Len's current state and seeming inability to walk properly, Kaito slung him up into his arms, carrying him bridal style up the stairs. Len's breath reeked of sake, and his eyes were bloodshot, but he was still warm, and he fit snugly into Kaito's arms. When Len turned his face up to mumble something at Kaito, Kaito blushed, and forgot to answer.

It seemed like it took an eternity for them to reach the room that Len and Rin were sharing, though Len was too drunk to really understand any passing of time. He just felt someone carry him upstairs and set him on the bed. When he looked over, they seemed to be kneeling next to him. He squinted, and smiled. It was Rin. Of course it was. No one else had that particular shade of blue for hair. What a silly sister he had.

Leaning over, he kissed Rin goodnight, and then fell back onto his pillow, muttering "Thanks, Rin" as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Kaito could only grunt back and flee from the room, his fingers still pressed to his lips.


End file.
